A rose by any other name would still have thorns

Today, I was reading some blogs and Tess Gerritsen posted about blurbs. I know I should be getting blurbs for the book that's releasing next August. But I hate to ask. I feel like it's imposing on the author(s) that I'd ask. Besides, the cover is already done (top right). I love the cover and there's no room for a blurb. And it's probably too late, right?
Anyway, thinking about asking for a blurb made me think about the book. I realized I've been calling it a cozy mystery but it really isn't. Sure, it has an amateur sleuth and there's no blood and gore. But it has elements that are most definitely NOT cozy. Gay husband, cross-dressing, divorce, unplanned pregnancy. The protagonist, Skye, even has sex with two different men. The sex is off-screen and it's not like she's doing both of them at the same time. Still, it doesn't seem like a cozy.
I don't think it qualifies as a chick-lit mystery either. Skye is in her 40's and that seems too old for chick-lit. I don't even know if hen-lit is a viable sub-genre anymore. Skye has a hobby that is important in the mystery, but aren't hobby oriented mysteries still cozies?
Then there's the WIP. It's a mystery, too, and I've been calling it a cozy, but really it doesn't qualify either. The main character, Frankie, is a little too snarky, and her family a little too crazy, to be in a cozy. Plus the murders are already adding up. I think maybe too many people die for it to be a cozy.
Bottom line, I guess I don't write cozy mysteries.
And don't get me started on the differences between Suspense and Thriller.